Resistance to Change
As one navigates the journey to change life, one probably notices that things are not always easy. It can inherently feel as though the person is fighting oneself every step of the way all along. This, in fact, can cause the sinking feeling of getting drained out and an emptiness can become impossible to accomplish. This defeats the idea towards change.
If one has felt this way and is ready to change life for the better, they need to overcome the very idea of the ‘resistance to change’.
Twelve Ways to Achieve the Change You Want in Your Life
Here are a few ways to bolster and reinforce oneself against the inevitable and inexorable backlash leading towards the resistance to one’s change:
1. Get very clear and defined on one’s values and motivations. If one does feel confident about it, they tend to be less susceptible to others’ opinions.
Observational Learning – Growing up with parents who tend to overthink can lead to a child observing and imitating this tendency. For example, seeing a parent stressing about a financial situation.
2. Prepare for a comeback – Make a complete note that it could be matter-of-fact, humorous, or whatever fits best for one is the key. Do anticipate the common reaction (consider this: ‘In this very economy, you are lucky to have a job!’), and then do prepare a very compelling response making it completely clear that you are not at all open to negotiating about one’s intention (so the ideal response needs to be “I know! I am so lucky and blessed to have a job. How is your job going?”).
3. Seek out and find supporters – Find people, websites, groups, and resources that say one can make the change they intend. Move forward to read the success stories, go on to solicit pep talks, share the short-term goals and finally aim to create a change-based community of like-minded people.
4. Filter your updates – One knows that old saying, “One cannot get bread at the hardware store?” This indicates that some people may never ever go on to brace the progress of moving towards the advancement you are completely heading forward with. Consider saying that progress updates for people who are more supportive. If one gives detractors less opportunity to offer their feedback, it is less one will have to contend with.
5. Be a superb resource – When people begin to notice that extra pep in the step, they will want a little of this “change” phenomenon for themselves too! If one does sense someone is flirting with their change, offer the story and share what has possibly worked for you. Do not push, and do accept their core resistance. Do note that the change is a slow process, however, when someone is ready to take the first step, you could serve as their catalyst.
6. Adopt a learning mindset – Please take a good note that everything changes. That is one of the few truths we can substantially count on to stay true. So, it is vital that resisting change is resisting reality. The point in matter is instead of working so hard to keep things the same, how can you possibly befriend this fact of life? Let us support this with when a surfer gets tense riding a wave, they do tend to fall. Consider this when a leader gets tense adapting to change; they do fail as well. That is why you must declare your vision. Adopt learning, engaging, and evolving mind set in every situation. Adapt. Enjoy.
7. Push right through it – It is critical to understand that there may be times when it does feel impossible. It is also important to note that when so many forces are stacked up against you, and when you cannot possibly forge and build a new path in life. This is exactly when you must keep going.
8. Consult a mentor or even a coach – Please consider that nobody does like change. So, as creatures of habit, we do run from change and often do not embrace its reality. A coach does offer outside intervention to ensure one’s accountability and provides the reality check one needs to embrace reality with fine plus productive action and behaviours. Hanging onto the past and denying the change does not stop it at all. Please note that top leaders do hire mentors and coaches. So, must you!
9. Find the strength within one’s own resistance - Some people naturally meet the very change with resistance, and that is okay. Some people have innate strengths to stabilize, reduce the risks and then protect what is working, and others have the fabulous instincts to drive the change, then experiment and finally explore options. If one is resisting change because one is risk averse, one might start by assessing the risk, researching, or finally planning. Then, one must enlist help to drive the very change.
10. Realize one does not fear change, one does fear loss - It is critical to note that change is a situational event, like losing one's job or gaining a new boss. Resistance does occur during the transition, which is a psychological process of acknowledging what is ending, navigating the uncertainty, then finally embracing what is inevitably possible in the new beginning. Please bear in mind that strengthening support networks, anchoring one's purpose, increasing self-compassion, and then actualizing strengths that can all minimize the very resistance.
11. Consider the upsides of change (That is an imperative) - Resistance does stem from fear, and for many, the fear is actually caused by the change. For some, it may be even fear of the unknown, or say repeating a negative experience. We use resistance as the perfect way to protect ourselves, but that also limits us and our own experiences. Instead of looking at the limitations and the risks that come with change, try looking and observing at change as the very thing that opens the door to your very big plus next opportunity.
12. Accept one’s resistance to change - It is normal human behaviour to resist the change. First of all, we do need to accept and appreciate that very complementary fact. This will help us be open to working on the thoughts and beliefs we have about the change. The limiting beliefs need to be changed in order to rewire oneself in order to stop meeting the very change encountered with resistance. One’s emotions can help one identify what thoughts one has, and then address the resistance one feels.
It is important to note that dealing with the resistance to change starts in mind. If one wants to change their life for the better, one must believe it is possible and in the very best interest. Otherwise, one will find oneself giving into the resistant mind’s call towards maintaining the status quo.
Jonathan Smith
Top Contributor.
Jonathan is a marriage and family therapist based in California, US.